The Joys of Eating With Toddlers

By Neilia Sherman

Eating in a restaurant is an experience that is always enhanced by our baby's presence. My husband and I always imagine a relaxing dinner – we won't have to cook, we won't have to clean. In reality, relaxing is not the word that I would use to describe these family outings.

As soon as we order and are really committed to waiting for our food, the antics begin.

He begins by glaring at other patrons, who uncomfortably alternate between staring at us and looking away. Then he begins to reject the lovely meal ordered especially for him from the children's menu. Item after item lands on the floor. From the looks our waiter sends our way, I am sure he is thinking that no tip will be worth having to clean up the mess.

At this point, panic sets in and we just want to finish the meal and get out. We give him anything he wants: toys, pacifiers, bottles. Nothing helps. We are horrified as he begins to play the "throwing game," tossing objects and actually hitting other people. My husband begins to sweat profusely, while I continue to eat as fast as possible, desperate to get my money's worth – just this once.

Suddenly, this entity, whom I actually gave birth to, lets out his favorite "you had better pay attention" shriek. The entire restaurant turns to stare, no doubt wondering what those horrible parents are doing to that poor child.

No hope for coffee and dessert – we are out of there! But we'll be back. For some reason we are adventurous sorts with short memories. We just have to find a restaurant that we aren't banned from visiting!

Want to see more?

• Fun, Food and Family: Dining Out With Children
• Dine and Dash: 10 Tips for Dining Out With Toddlers
• Someone's in the Kitchen With Mommy
• Talk about it!