Turning Points for Better and Worse

Facing Anorexia, Dishonesty and Separation

An Excerpt

By Cheryl Dellasega, Ph.D

We went through all the teen court classes and youth alternatives' classes and available counseling. Some of these counselors could have helped more or differently. The attendance counselor let it slip that 16-year-olds aren't actually required by law to attend school and that was all my daughter needed to fuel her apathy. After that, my groundings, positive reinforcements, scoldings, lectures, and tears had little effect.

Three months ago I caught her skipping school one morning. I knew she was up, getting ready, and thought she had left with a friend to walk to the bus stop. I took my shower and then found myself in Melody's room to put away some laundry.

She was there, squatting on her closet floor, hiding. I wanted to know why, but she kept silent. I was beside myself with anger and mixed emotions but had to go to my low-paying but steady-income job. Didn't she understand I had to work a menial job because I, too, had been overly boy crazy and only went through 58 hours of college? My goal was for her to have a better future than mine.

"Come on, Melody -- I'll drive you to school," I said. Still, she was silent. I did some preparations for my day until I heard her crying and sobbing, actually freaking out on the phone.

"Who are you talking to now?" I demanded.

"My father!" she cried.

"Why are you calling him long distance and crying and talking to him when you won't talk to me?" shrieked.