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Dining Double

Taking Twins out to Eat

By Kelly Burgess

When they do act up, Regales acts. If their behavior threatens to disturb the other patrons, Regales asks for a doggie bag and leaves. Dr. Medhus agrees with this approach, adding that a parent can also try to have a relative or sitter available. If the child misbehaves, they can drop him off and return and finish their meal. However, she does recommend that these drastic measures be reserved for really bad behavior.

First, she would recommend trying to use verbal reminders, such as those above, or maybe even removing the children to the lobby or car for a few minutes. Regardless of the consequence, Dr. Medhus says what's most important is to deliver it with a detached calm so the child understands that it's their problem to solve, not the parent's. Keep your voice calm and your attitude very low key so they understand it's the behavior, not the child, that is the problem.

"See all instances of misbehavior as golden opportunities to guide and impart values rather than as moments meant to make you cringe in embarrassment," Dr. Medhus says. "Just as at home, model the conduct you want your twins to show and, in the inevitable instance that they slip, use nonjudgmental strategies to guide them toward the proper behavior. This shift in attitude will help you stay emotionally detached so that solving your kids' behavior problems remains more important to them than to you. The urge to nag or yell or spank or criticize never gains the momentum it needs to damage their fragile sense of self."