Hi, my name is Corey and I am 26 years old. I have a 3 1/2 year old girl and 11 month old twins, a boy and a girl. I gained 70 lbs with my first pregnancy and have yet to shed them.
I have tried to do some programs, with cardio and weights but I have a hard time keeping to them when my life gets crazy. And as you may guess it is often crazy in my life!
Gaining so much weight has been really hard on me. I was a thin, athletic, blond, blue eyed stereotype all my life and never realized how much that made me who I was in my mind. I took it totally for granted and thought it would never change. Well, it did. And all of a sudden I wasn't me any more. I still felt like me, inside, but when I caught my reflection in the mirror I saw a stranger. The disgust and self-loathing I felt was almost physical. I got to the point where I never looked in the mirror for very long or just looked through the image I saw. I wouldn't let anyone take pictures. I didn't want any documentation of this terrible time.
I have come to terms with my appreance to a point now. I don't feel the disgust I once did, though I still do not like what I see. I have taken this time as an opportunity to experiment with my appearance. I cut my hair into a trendy short cut that I never would have done when I was thin, and dyed it red. It's really cool. Doing that has made me feel better about me and actually helps in my fight to start to lose the weight. I think that the fact that I could do something to improve my appearance, even though I was chubby, made me feel more in control. Like I do have a choice, that I am not stuck looking how I look, I can change it.
So I have begun my journey again. I feel like I can do it, but it is not about deprivation or perfection. I am trying to make better choices, control my portions, exercise, and generally be more active. Please join me in seeing where it takes me. It should be an interesting ride!