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Expert Q&A
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| By Eve Eliot Eating Disorder Expert | ||
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My daughter's 13-year-old friend has started making herself throw up after dinner. The mom is now watching her daughter closely and talked to her pediatrician who told her that it will probably pass and not to worry. What would you advise this mom to do? The dad, who is concerned, believes that she is doing it for attention."
I would suggest this mom (and dad) get some counseling to determine how best to invite their daughter to speak to a professional. The sooner their daughter can speak to someone impartial, the better.
The pediatrician's assumption that this behavior will pass is, in my view, not a sound one. Sometimes such a behavior pattern DOES pass, but damage might occur in the meanwhile, both physically and relationally. Physically, the daughter might damage her digestive tract, her esophagus, her teeth, her electrolytes. Electrolyte imbalances are extremely dangerous.
Relationally, now that her mother is "watching her closely," the family dynamics have shifted. It is possible that the close watching might be helpful, if the father is right about his daughter needing attention. But the close watchfulness could make the daughter's need to discharge intense feelings more acute because her privacy could feel invaded by the close watching.
The best thing is to have an impartial but caring professional on the case as soon as possible. This will help her understand the damage she might be doing herself and offer her alternatives to coping with the emotional distress that she is faced with at this difficult age.
The more quickly therapy is undertaken, the better the prognosis.
Sending love and support,
Eve Eliot
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